Suicide Bi-Polar

Request:

My life has lost all meaning to me, I remember the days when I could wake up and smile. I remember waking up early summer mornings just to smell the fresh air. But now it seems like it was a dream. Happiness slipped away and things that used to make me happy irritate me. I had a psychologist but he was making me even more unhappy. The day I stopped seeing him is when he asked me “Why do you want to be happy?” He told me happiness doesn’t last and basically made me give up. I’m even considering suicide every now and then. I have dreams that get worse and worse. People in them harass and beat me there’s needles and knifes. I’m so scared I’ll be this way all my life. Being Bipolar runs in my family and I think that I could also have that. I’m only 17 but things are becoming out of control. I even get irritated at my dog, and she’s the only one who’s ever there for me. My mother just says things like “I know, I know,” and “Well what do you want me to do about it?” I don’ t know what I want her to do. I just want to get better… please someone make me better?

Response:

Dear _____,

Thank you for visiting _____. My name is _____ and I serve as an online mentor for this website.

_____, you have reached out and you got me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I was the one to receive your E-mail. I have read your letter and know that you are in pain and suffering each day.

You described a time in your life which now almost seems a dream, a good dream in contract to the bad dreams. There was a time in my life when I was also carefree and enjoyed summer mornings. The world was my oyster, each day was met with ‘Today is my opportunity’. Nothing could deter or discourage me. Anything was possible and in fact, people who knew me told me, you can do anything that you want to do’. Well, I had a lot to find out about that. By the time I turned 26, I was completely empty and broken, unhealthy and without hope. No gas in my tank. No place to turn. It was then that I turned and pleaded with God who changed everything.

_____, I wonder if you would write again so that we can explore your life then, now, and future possibility. Can you please share your impressions…..during the period when you delighted in the fresh air of summer mornings, what do you remember as being the basis for that hope and anticipation? What was it about your life then that made the difference? Also, can you give me an idea of what has happened in your life since that time that may have influenced and changed things? …. how you began to see and feel things differently, how you began to relate differently to family/ friends, if that happened. By taking a look at your lifeline, we can together begin to gain a vision of where you have come and then talk about where you can go with the help of the Lord.

Before I pray for and with you, I wish to leave you with one thought. Your life is going to change not only because you want to live and breathe again, but also because God has ordained it, He has opened a door to bring you here, to a place of safety and solace. Your life is not over. Cast aside any thought of ending life because that is not your decision. There are many choices and decisions that we human beings DO make in life, but that one is not our prerogative. That your mother is unable to respond in a way that is helpful is a reality with which many, many of us with regard to immediate family members. That is why God has created another avenue to safety, a path that is crafted JUST FOR YOU and you alone. He is going to take you places that you cannot imagine and He will use your suffering and transform it to joy for your benefit and for the sake of His name.

Dear Lord,

I thank you for _____, for giving her the courage and perseverance to write her letter and for giving her the will to live. Lord, you made _____ in her mother’s womb and your plans for her are good plans and not bad. Your scripture promises that if we seek you, that you will show us wondrous things that we do not know. We cannot wait to be shown wondrous things, to again be able to wake up to a summer morning and to breathe fresh air. Lord, bring that to _____.  According to your will, I pray that _____ bad dreams will end. Bring her back to me and nourish our friendship with your spirit. In Jesus name, Amen

I await your next letter.

Your friend,

(name)

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