Pornography

Request:

I’m afraid of losing my family. My wife says that if I don’t my filthy habit she will leave me. I’ve struggled with pornography since I was in High School and no matter how hard I try I keep going back for more. Is there any help for me?

Response:

It is important that you find a way to deal with your problem before it drags you down even further.  It is good that you have prayed about your problem with pornography.  Continue to do that.  But you will have to do more than pray.  You will have to take some action in answer to your own prayers.

First of all pornography, of whatever kind, should be recognized as immorality, and therefore a sin.  I believe you have done this or else you would not be asking for help.  Why are you turning to porn?  Are you lonely, isolated or feel rejected?  Is there dysfunctionalism in the past?  Porn will cause your self-esteem to plunge and your guilt to increase.  Maybe it has already done this to you.  The danger with it is that if indulged in for some time, it becomes an obsession or even an addiction.  It will deaden you spiritually (Galatians 5:17).   It will turn you away from God (Romans 8:6; 1 Corinthians 6:9,13,18). Addictions are hard to deal with.  But it can be done.

Suggestions:

1. I assume you are a Christian – if not, that’s where you start.

2. You must seek deliverance from personal sins and immoral sexual behaviors.

3. Fully and frankly face the truth of addiction to lust through pornography.

4. Take responsibility for your actions by destroying all porno graphical material.

5. Immediately stop visiting places of temptation, such as pornographic movies, adult bookstores, or video rental stores.

6. Cut any relationships that have encouraged the addiction.

7. Begin a serious effort to build or rebuild a godly life (Psalm 42:1-2; Jeremiah 29:13; Mark 9:29; Philippians 3:7-17)

8. Confess sins daily.  Daily renounce worldly things.

9. Build your relationship with Christ.  Spend time in the Bible when tempted.

10. Establish fellowship links with spiritually minded Christians.

11. Burn bridges or links to the past.

All of the above may all sound fine and good but may not actually work unless you set up a network of accountability with at least one trusted mature Christian.  Allow this person to monitor your progress on a regular basis.  And be brutally honest with him – success and defeats.  You’re only hurting yourself if you’re not.

If necessary it might also be desirable to seek professional help from a Christian psychologist or psychiatrist or counselor who follows biblical principles of counseling.

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